Bold Awakening - Feeling Stuck in a Life that No Longer Fits?

Have you ever woken up one day and thought, "This life doesn't fit me anymore"? That’s the thing about bold awakenings - they don’t knock politely. They barge in, rip the covers off, and say, "This isn’t it. You know it. Now what are you going to do about it?” 

The Signs Your Life No Longer Fits

No one will likely come up to you and tell you, "It's time to go, it's time to grow!" but there will be signs. Often when we are ready for change, we experience the quiet signs: boredom, situational depression, resentment, fantasizing about being somewhere else or someone else. Do you find yourself consistently trying to escape your reality? That's not just daydreaming; it’s a sign that it's time for a shake-up.

Sometimes the signs are louder: We experience amplified feelings - anger and frustration over small slights, burnout, big blowups, sudden breakdowns. It feels like being a woman on the edge, wanting to burn the whole thing down. Nothing seems to be going our way. It's as if the universe is straight up rejecting us. Not only does nothing feel right, but everything feels wrong. Think back - can you recall a time when you ignored the quiet whispers until they became a scream?

And then there is the boiling point - when your beliefs finally outgrow your fears. This is the lightbulb moment when you have had it, you see the light, you make the decision that you cannot and will not take it anymore. In your life, when have you reached a boiling point?

Personal Story

Throughout my adult life, I've had quite a number of these moments where I realized that my life had stopped fitting - the “enough is enough” moment. It was a long-term relationship. From the beginning, there were plenty of signs that this wasn't a great match, but I wasn't ready to listen. Looking back, I was emotionally miserable in this relationship, but I wasn't willing to see that it meant I should leave until the quiet signs became louder signs, and I reached a boiling point. This was the moment of awakening, and my time to pivot.

Sometimes, we are not quite aware of what exactly is wrong - the source of our discontent. We blame ourselves, we blame others, and sometimes we just settle. It is only when we take ownership of ourselves - our beliefs about who we are, what we want for ourselves, what we need, and what we deserve that we can we realize the possibilities and our true potential. Awareness is the first brave act. We can’t change what we are not willing to see.

Why We Ignore the Awakening

The two biggest saboteurs of growth are self-doubt and the doubts of others.

Our minds are powerful machines; they want to keep us safe first. Change represents danger, and our minds have many ways to keep us from going outside the zone of safety. In other words, our minds are our biggest adversaries when it comes to change. Self-doubt creeps in, but it never stops. This is the "what if I fail?" loop. These days, I am much more likely to recognize the signs of change. Though admittedly, my inner thoughts still taunt me:      "Am I crazy? Why can't I seem to settle for what many other people do? Am I making the right decision? Am I fooling myself? Thinking too big?      Can I pull this off?" Our inner critic almost always creeps in when we make bold moves and reject what may seem like standard living to other people. That is how the brain tries to sabotage our efforts to go outside of the safety zone. But living a Bold life requires us to manage our fears. To develop the ability to move forward despite them. Self-trust. As we grow, our inner resistance may get louder. But the more we tell that little voice, "All is well. It will be okay. I'm finding my way," the easier it becomes to ignore the dissent. With each incremental step and win along the way, our confidence grows and so do our results.

As if managing our minds isn't hard enough, we often try to manage the doubt from others. 

When we decide to elevate our lives or circumstances, it can make those around us very uncomfortable. Disapproval from our parents, lack of support from a partner, or peer pressure from friends. Just yesterday, I saw this play out with some kids. I was driving my son and his buddies home. One child said he was planning on trying out for a prestigious sports team, and the other said, "You can't make that team; that’s one of the best teams in the state." Why was it so easy for the first child to cut down the other one's dream? Of course, I had to pipe up and say, "Well, if he never tries, he will never know, will he?" Unfortunately, these types of peer interactions happen all the time - starting from a young age. We learn self-limiting beliefs and we push them on others, thereby squelching their dreams and aspirations. Sometimes personal growth of others feels like a threat to our comfort or status. It makes us question ourselves and our own value. It holds a mirror to the inadequacies, the fears, and the dreams we aren't ready to admit. When confronted with constant pushback and pressure to remain the same, it takes courage to keep going, especially if we feel unsupported.

It's easier to stay comfortable than to make dramatic life changes. 

Change takes time, effort, and perseverance, and let's face it - there are not a lot of people who are capable of doing it on their own. Having the support of a trustworthy friend or a valuable coach to keep us on track can make a world of difference. Many years back, I was feeling completely out of sync with my job. The work no longer inspired, the culture had changed, and I was feeling stuck. The problem was that I had told myself that this was the place, the income, the career trajectory I      wanted. Thankfully, I got a coach to help me figure this out. I started my work with her in a very confused place. We didn't start out with some master plan for my life. All      I knew was that I was unhappy, unmotivated, and unsure about what to do next. My main goal was to just get unstuck, and my secret goal was to become happy in my existing job again. In my thoughts, I didn't want to leave my job. I was playing it safe, and I liked the image of me in that job, in that cozy trap of a company. The reality was that underneath all of the good things I got from that job - the income, the feeling of accomplishment, the safety - I did not want to be in that job, and I could not help those feelings from coming in and telling me so - quietly and then loudly. Well, fast forward two or three months, and my life completely changed. I applied to a job I had been eyeballing. I got that job, moved to another state, and boom - I was happy at work again. This was a series of fortunate events in that I didn't have to do an endless job search. I had already prepared with years of work for the new role, so I was ready. But it doesn't mean that I didn't put in the work. I worked with a coach to unravel my screwed up mind. I      had to admit to myself that I was ready for change, and seemingly that was the hardest part!

Becoming a new version of ourselves often takes massive action. 

We make excuses for our lack of action - not enough time is a big one. But massive action doesn't require quitting your job or moving states. It doesn't require you to dump your responsibilities, but it does require you to make a plan, to dedicate consistent time to it, and exercise patience and resilience when it gets difficult. We often get so caught up in the desired end result that we forget to enjoy the beauty of the journey. Overwhelm and confusion in how to get there keep us from doing the work here. That is where the plan comes in.

I am currently working on a goal to create a coaching empire - platform, community, major courses, and resources to help women live more inspired lives. This is a huge goal - why? Because it is a ton of work! And it takes time that I choose not to give it fully right now. I have a full-time career that I truly love. I have a family. I have four puppies. I have a home to take care of. If I look at the big goal and all of the massive action it entails, sure, it is overwhelming. But I am not overwhelmed because I have created a manageable plan with incremental steps that I refer to when my mind goes crazy.

I dedicate a finite, consistent amount of time to my goal at a pace I have set. I do not focus on all of the future work or the things I will have to learn, like building out an entire technical ecosystem and years of learning content. I focus on the steps I have identified that I need to build for now. I research and plan to make good choices for later, but I don't let it paralyze what I need to do for today, this month, or even this year. Despite the fact that I actively work to manage my thoughts, thoughts still come up that I'm not doing enough, I'm not going fast enough, and I should be doing more. But, when my inner critic comes up, I go back to the plan I have in place, and I remind myself of what my focus is now. I am only responsible for a manageable portion of that plan now. This helps me shut down the inner critic and keeps me focused on moving forward. In managing the plan in manageable chunks, I make progress toward my end goal. That work builds a foundation for the next level of work, and so on. That is the power of compounding action.

Staying small feels safer in the short term, but it’s the slowest kind of self-betrayal. It's easier to keep your dreams in a box for someday. But when you reach the boiling point where your desire to change becomes more than your desire to remain the same, you will know. Your body, mind, and heart will tell you, but the question is: "Are you listening?"
 

Make The First Bold Moves

• Admit the truth to yourself without editing. Write it down in a journal. What is your life telling you that you truly want?
• Name it. What you actually want — Say it aloud in the mirror. Write it on a sticky note and put it on your fridge.
• Write a quick plan. List three things you would need to do to begin a new journey?
• Make it real. Tell one safe, supportive person. Text a friend: "I'm thinking about X." Big change doesn’t start with massive action. 

Your bold life begins with tiny acts of truth-telling. Maybe today is the day you stop ignoring the signs, and start listening.

If this post spoke to you, share it with the boldest woman you know, and make sure you’re subscribed so you never miss a lesson. I’ll see you next week.

Homework

This week’s Bold Life Homework is called The Truth List.

Take 20 minutes to write down everything in your life that feels too small, too tight, too out of alignment — no matter how trivial or huge. Then circle the ONE thing that, if it changed, would make the biggest difference. That’s where we start.

Remember: Awareness isn’t weakness. It’s the first crack in the shell.