Ep 35: Before You Quit Your Goal: How to Stay Consistent When it Seems Like its Not Working

How many times have you almost quit something?

A goal.
A challenge.

Not because it was a bad move.
Not because it was toxic.
Not because it was misaligned with where you want to be going in life.

But because it wasn't working fast enough.

Because you couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Because you weren't getting immediate gratification and big results right away.
Or because you weren't being validated enough by outside individuals.

Be honest, because you know you're not the only one. We've all been there — probably hundreds of times.

We all want to feel the win.
The immediate results.
We want to be the makeover story.

And at the beginning, the most exciting part of making a goal or a new change is usually the results. We want to run boldly into the next chapter.

But that's not usually how it works.

Today we're talking about how to keep going when it doesn't seem to be working at all.

Make Sure You're Not Climbing the Wrong Mountain

So you're working toward a goal.

But before we start talking about consistency, we need to make sure you're not climbing the wrong mountain.

Not everything deserves endurance. Sometimes quitting is wisdom.

Maybe you are where you are for the wrong reasons.
Maybe you got talked into something.
Maybe you're working on someone else's dream instead of your own.
Maybe you fell into your current path and just kind of stayed there.
Maybe you've had a change of heart and you're done with what you've been told is smart, safe, or the best bet.
Maybe you're looking to make a huge redesign.

No matter what the goal is, the real question is this:

Did you choose this path — the goal, the decision, the move — from conviction or from comparison?
From passion or from fear?

Did you really mean it when you said you wanted change? That you wanted this?

Did you choose it from clarity? Or from ego, fear, or someone else's terms?

Let's recalibrate.

You're likely on the right path if what you're working on aligns with your values, stretches you from where you're at right now, scares you a little but expands you in a good way, matches your long-term vision rather than your short-term moods, and you chose it deliberately.

If it's moving you toward your best self, your dream, your highest talents, or it's rooted in your greater purpose — your why for living — then what you're experiencing is probably not misalignment.

It's the part where the talk meets the walk.
Where the rubber meets the road.
Where the work is actually hard and the days feel long.

It's the silent season.

The Silent Season

Most women quit their goal during the silent season.

But the silent season is where you need to double down on the action required to start that slow climb toward your big, hairy, audacious goal.

Whether it's losing weight, getting promoted, writing a book, or becoming an influencer — the silent season is where the hard and often lonely work takes place.

It's part of the process.

And it's the place most of us self-sabotage our own success.

Why We Self-Sabotage

So why do we self-sabotage our success in the silent season?

We want proof.
We want evidence.
We want that dopamine hit that says, yes, you were right. We are amazing. We have results.

And when it doesn't come, your brain starts whispering:

"Oh, this must not be working."

It's your inner critic stepping in to bring up all of those fears and self-doubt that kept you from getting started in the first place.

Here's the important thing to know:

You're addicted to validation. We all are.

We've been trained for immediate feedback.
Likes. Comments. Promotions. Sales. Praise. Performance reviews. Rewards.

And when there's silence, we interpret it as failure.

But silence doesn't mean failure.

Silence is where mastery is built. It's where your new identity becomes future you.

Your Brain and the Status Quo

Think about the latest goal you've been working on — or maybe the last one that didn't pan out.

You thought you wanted to do something, then you changed your mind, but you're still thinking about it.

This time, though, it's from a feeling of dejection. All of those losses compiled on top of what you want now.

You say:
"It's too hard."
"I've tried it before."
"I don't have time."
"I don't have patience."
"I don't have money."
"I don't have enough energy."

Excuses, excuses, excuses.

Our brains are really good at telling us to step away from the fire — from anything new.

What you're talking about is doing something novel that requires change, effort, and challenge.

But your reptilian brain feels much more comfortable in the safety of your quiet home, doing nothing out of the ordinary.

You're safe there.
Where the status quo lives.
Where there's no danger.

You're complacent.

But you're also repeating the patterns that have kept you exactly where you are.

Discipline Depletes

Most likely, there's nobody sitting there to make you show up.

You're relying on your highest motivation levels to convince your reptilian brain — who's a big smack talker — that you can do this without assistance.

And that's hard.

We start each day fresh with resolve, right?

But as the day goes long, our reserves deplete. Discipline gets depleted. It becomes harder not to give in.

This is normal.

At the same time, your mind starts turning on you.

"I told you you couldn't do it."
"You're a loser."
"It's too hard."
"We'll start tomorrow."

We wonder why we quit. Why we can't do it all on our own.

But that's just the mind running amok.

The good news? When you start checking your mind, you learn to control it. And when you control your mind, you control your outcomes.

Control the mind.
Control your outcomes.

Prepare for the Silent Season

The more prepared you are to encounter and turn away your inner critic, the better plan you have in place, the more accountable you are to that plan, and the more support you have along the way — the more likely you are to keep going through this silent season.

Prepare for the worst.

Your mind is powerful, sure — but not more powerful than you, if you work at it.

The Four Cs of Consistency

When you're spiraling, you can't trust your first instinct to shut down.

If you want to get to the end game, you need structure — a decision filter that grounds you instead of having you run away.

You need something that says:

"Pause. We're not burning the house down today."

The Four Cs of Consistency are that grounding filter.

1. Clarity

Why am I doing this?

Go back to the beginning. Why did you start? What's the real reason?

Often, the motivation to act comes when the pain of staying the same becomes worse than the pain of change.

Get clear on your why. And if that reason is still true, don't abandon it because it's quiet.

2. Commitment

How long did you actually commit?

Three weeks?
Six posts?
One quarter?

You can't plant a seed and dig it up every day to see if it's growing.

Pre-decide your runway. Write it down. Stop evaluating it daily.

Focus on behaviors and actions, not outcomes.

3. Calibration

Look at the data.

Are you tracking inputs or obsessing over outputs?

Results lag. That's reality.

Make adjustments intelligently — not emotionally.

Don't burn the house down because you had a bad day.

Inspect the wiring.

4. Character

Who am I becoming?

More disciplined?
More decisive?
More resilient?
More self-trusting?

If yes, you're on the right path.

Your character compounds even when applause doesn't.

The Hard Truth

Most women don't fail because they're incapable.

They fail because they stop too early.

They quit in discomfort.
They pivot in insecurity.
They abandon the process for immediate relief.

Sometimes it truly isn't aligned.

But sometimes, you just didn't stay long enough.

Leadership requires ambiguity tolerance. It requires self-trust before proof.

That is maturity.
That is next-level consistency.
That is next-level success.

Before You Quit

Ask yourself:

Do I have clarity?
What commitments have I made?
Am I calibrating my actions?
Who am I becoming?

Then decide from power — not panic.

Final Thoughts

If you're in a quiet season right now, I feel you. I'm going through my own quiet season.

If it feels like nothing's happening, if you're tempted to pivot again, consider this:

What if this is the phase that separates women who dabble from women who build?

What if the silence is strengthening you?

What if the real flex is staying?

Not blindly.
Not stubbornly.
But deliberately.

Run yourself through that filter before you quit.

And if it's aligned — stay.

Stay long enough to see what you're capable of.

Because bold women don't need constant applause.

They need endurance.

And you have more of that than you think.