Executive Presence, Part 1: Stop Shrinking. Start Signaling Leadership

There’s a frustration I hear from so many mid-career women.

You’re smart.
You’re strategic.
You get results.

And yet?

You’re still seen as dependable. Reliable. Solid.

But not necessarily the one they picture leading the room.

You find yourself wondering:
Why not me?
Am I ready for people leadership?
Why don’t they see me that way?

Today, we’re talking about executive presence — what it actually is, why it matters, and how to develop it.

Because perception is reality in the professional world.

And if you’ve ever wondered whether you have executive presence — or whether you’re destined to stay exactly where you are — this is for you.

What Is Executive Presence?

Executive presence is not simply charisma.

Charisma gets attention. It requires people skills.
But executive presence commands trust.

It’s not dominance.
Dominance can control a room. Presence steadies a room.

It’s not having the loudest or deepest voice in the meeting.
It’s not about being extroverted.
It’s not about being the fastest thinker.

Executive presence is:

• Clarity – Can you articulate your points simply and directly?
  
• Composure – Can you regulate your emotions when tension rises?
  
• Conviction – Do you stand behind what you say, even when challenged?
  
  

Executive presence is how you show up when the heat is on.

Anyone can sound confident when the stakes are low.
Presence shows up when budgets are questioned, strategies are challenged, timelines slip, or someone senior disagrees with you.

And no — it’s not “natural.”

What you’re seeing in strong leaders is practiced language, practiced emotional regulation, practiced decision-making under pressure.

It’s a skill.

And skills can be learned.

Leaders vs. Supporters: The Energy You Signal

So many capable women are labeled “wonderful to work with.”

We’re pleasant, after all.

But that phrase is often code for cooperative, low-drama, easy.

That’s lovely.

It’s not leadership language.

Leadership language sounds like:

• She sets direction.
  
• She drives clarity and results.
  
• She owns outcomes.
  
• She’s influential.
  
  

Now contrast that with what happens when you:

• Soften every opinion
  
• Over-qualify every idea
  
• Apologize before speaking
  
• Accept terms without raising concerns
  
  

You’re signaling support energy.

Support energy keeps things running. It’s capable and valuable.

But lead energy sets direction.
It sets tone.
It drives decisions into strategy.
It holds people accountable — without emotional reactivity.

Leadership energy is confidence in communication.

Support Energy Sounds Like:

• “I was just thinking maybe we could…”
  
  
• “I’m not the expert, but…”
  
  
• “I feel like…”
  
  

You hear hesitation.
Indecision.
Apology.

Leadership Energy Sounds Like:

• “My recommendation is…”
  
• “Let’s move forward with this plan.”
  
• “This won’t work unless we agree on X, Y, and Z.”
  
  

Same person.
Same intelligence.
Different posture.

The Double Standard Women Navigate

Let’s be honest.

Women walk a fine line in the workplace.

Too soft? You’re overlooked.
Too firm? You’re labeled difficult.

Men often receive more leeway in this area.

Of course you don’t want to be seen as aggressive.
Of course you don’t want to be “too much.”

But you also want to be respected, heard, and seen as leadership material.

The goal isn’t dominance.

It’s clarity without overcorrection.

Overcorrecting in Leadership

When many women first step into leadership roles, they overcorrect.

They try to:

• Argue every point to death
  
• Control outcomes tightly
  
• Micromanage
  
• Lean into authoritarian tendencies
  
  

I’ve done it myself.

As a first-time people manager, I felt I had to protect my authority. I held tightly to implementation and control. I hadn’t yet developed the vocabulary or skill set for hard conversations, so I overcompensated.

Over time, I shifted from authoritarian to facilitator.

That shift came with practice:

• Letting people down respectfully
  
• Negotiating agreements
  
• Holding others accountable
  
• Managing my own emotional reactions
  
  

Executive presence matures through experience and reflection.

Overcorrecting at first?
It’s part of the journey.

Give yourself grace.

How Executive Presence Sounds

Executive presence sounds like:

• “This is the direction I recommend.”
  
• “The risk is here.”
  
• “The research shows…”
  
• “I disagree, and here’s why.”
  
• “I don’t know, but I’ll find out.”
  
  

It sounds steady.
Rooted in logic.
Open to discussion — but not flimsy.

Strength in Communication

• End your sentences firmly.
  
• Stop lifting your tone as if everything is a question.
  
• Formulate thoughts before speaking.
  
• Use evidence and logic over emotional over-explaining.
  
• Pause between thoughts.
  
  

Silence feels awkward at first.

But to others, it reads as confidence.

Taking Up Space in Meetings

Taking up space does not mean dominating the meeting.

It means not disappearing inside it.

• Speak in the first third of the meeting.
  
• Early voices influence direction.
  
• Sit at the table — not on the outskirts.
  
• Hold eye contact after you finish speaking.
  
• Let your point breathe.
  
  

Your body speaks before you do.

Uncross your arms.
Sit upright.
Be present.
Put your phone down.

Research consistently shows that the majority of communication is nonverbal. Your posture, tone, and facial expressions all signal authority — or the lack of it.

Ask yourself:

What does my body language say about me?

The Over-Explaining Habit

Let’s call this out.

Over-explaining is often fear dressed up as thoroughness.

Fear of being misunderstood.
Fear of being challenged.
Fear of being exposed.

You add context.
Then more context.
Then disclaimers.
Then backpedaling.

Here’s the new structure:

Point.
Reason.
Stop.

Example:

“I recommend we delay launch by two weeks. The data shows a 15% decline in testing readiness.”

Done.

You don’t need the documentary.

You can be warm and concise at the same time.

What If You Freeze?

Freezing doesn’t mean you’re incompetent.

It means your nervous system activated.

When you freeze, your brain shifts into threat mode. Words get harder to access. That’s biology.

The move is not to panic.

The move is to pause.

Inhale through your nose.
Slow exhale.
Then say:

“Let me think about that for a moment.”

That signals thoughtfulness, not weakness.

You don’t owe instant answers.

Leadership energy directs the pace of the conversation.

How Do Senior Leaders Seem So Calm?

They aren’t necessarily calmer people.

They’re less reactive professionals.

They’ve trained themselves not to respond emotionally to every challenge.

Calm is a practiced strategy rooted in emotional intelligence.

Try this:

• Slow your speech by 10%.
  
• Lower your tone slightly.
  
• Ask a clarifying question instead of defending immediately.
  
  

For example:

“Can you tell me more about your concern?”

Now you’re steering the conversation.

Composure is magnetic.
And it’s trainable.

Confidence vs. Executive Presence

Confidence is internal belief.

Executive presence is external steadiness.

You can feel confident alone in your office.

Executive presence is confidence that survives:

• The boardroom
  
• Interruption
  
• Scrutiny
  
• Disagreement
  
  

That’s the difference.

Final Thoughts: Refining, Not Reinventing

If you’ve felt capable but invisible…
Respected but not elevated…

This isn’t about becoming someone new.

It’s about refining how you show up when it counts.

Small shifts in:

• Language
  
• Posture
  
• Pace
  
• Breathing
  
  

Same intelligence.
Stronger signals.

What’s Next: Executive Presence, Part 2

Next, we’re getting tactical.

We’ll cover:

• Handling interruptions
  
• Setting boundaries
  
• Building gravitas
  
• Influencing without authority
  
• Managing pushback without unraveling
  
  

Because executive presence isn’t tested when it’s easy.

It’s tested when power dynamics show up.

And we’re going there.

If you’re ready to develop executive presence and elevate your career, and you want personalized feedback and coaching support, reach out to me at @theboldlifecoach.

And if this resonated, come back next week for Part 2.

Let’s build leadership energy — the kind that changes how rooms respond to you.