Executive Presence, Part 2: Gravitas Under Fire

Last week, we built the foundation on executive presence: clarity, composure, conviction. That’s executive presence in theory.

Today, we’re going to talk about what happens when things get uncomfortable.

Because executive presence is not tested in calm rooms. It’s tested in friction, tension, toxicity.

How do you react or feel inside when someone challenges your idea in front of a room? When someone leaves you on read and you know it’s purposeful? When a colleague takes credit for your work? When a senior leader questions your competence? When someone interrupts you mid-sentence all of the time in meetings? When the temperature in the room rises?

This is where presence either holds or collapses. And the trait that determines which way it goes? Gravitas.

Today, we’re talking about applying gravitas in the most difficult situations. Let’s dive in.

What the Hell Is Gravitas Anyway?

Let’s demystify it.

It’s not just charisma. It’s not dominance. It’s not big energy.

Gravitas is grounded, calm, steady under pressure — with gravity. It’s the refusal to let someone else’s chaos dictate your behavior. It’s calm authority when others are performing insecurity.

And here’s the part most women aren’t told:

As you rise, you will encounter more ego. More politics. More subtle power plays. More testing.

Testing your boundaries. Testing your skill set. Testing your confidence.

You won’t necessarily have screaming matches — God, I hope not, for your sake. But you will encounter:

• The colleague who ignores your emails but responds to others.
  
• The boss who praises you privately but undermines you publicly.
  
• The peer who reframes your idea as theirs.
  
• The senior leader who pushes hard just to see if you’ll wobble.
  
  

Gravitas is what keeps you solid. It stops you from wobbling in those types of situations.

Let’s talk about five work archetypes you will encounter — and how executive presence helps you meet and defeat all of them.

Archetype 1: The Credit Stealer

You know this one.

They rephrase your idea as their own. They summarize your work in meetings without attributing any of it to you. They build on your thought, and suddenly it’s all theirs.

Now, credit stealers aren’t always malicious. Often, they’re insecure and opportunistic. In some work cultures, this behavior is how people get ahead.

Here’s what reactive energy does in those situations:

You go silent, but you seethe privately. You vent to everyone around you except the actual credit stealer. Or maybe you confront them emotionally — and if that’s the case, they probably gaslight you and make you look crazy for being emotional.

The worst response? You give up. You give in altogether. You roll over and stay a doormat for this BS.

None of those responses build executive presence.

Gravitas does something different.

It calmly re-anchors ownership in the moment. It’s neutral. It’s clear. There’s no edge. But you remind people of your part in the process.

You might say:

“That’s exactly what I outlined in the proposal I sent Monday. I’m glad it resonates.”

Or:

“Yes, that’s the framework I’ve been developing for the past two weeks. The next step I’m recommending is…”

You don’t accuse. You don’t over-explain. You restate authorship as fact. You gently remind. You keep the conversation moving.

Gravitas refuses to disappear.

Here’s the deeper truth: credit stealers are testing you for your silence. They’re used to bulldozing their way through others’ work. The only way to stop it is to meet it head-on.

If you consistently re-anchor calmly, they stop trying — because you’re no longer easy prey.

Executive presence isn’t about emotional confrontation. It’s about calm ownership.

Archetype 2: The Passive-Aggressive Underminer

You’re moving about your business, owning your ideas, feeling pretty good — and wham.

The passive-aggressive underminer.

They don’t attack directly. They make sideways comments. They ask loaded questions. They play devil’s advocate for the nth time. They insinuate you haven’t done the most basic research.

They publicly question minor details to shake your footing. Their goal isn’t clarity. It’s destabilization.

Reactive energy looks like this:

You start talking faster. Over-explaining. Stumbling. Becoming defensive. Trying to win. Trying to prove your point. Trying to prove your worth.

Gravitas slows down.

It isn’t afraid to dig into the comments or concerns. One of the most powerful ways to take back control is to ask a question back.

When someone says:

“Are we sure that’s the best approach?”

You respond:

“What specifically concerns you?”

Now they must clarify. Vagueness dies under specificity.

If they continue, you might ask:

“Is your concern risk, cost, or timeline?”

You force structure. You force clarity.

If they state a specific concern, you restate your evidence, logic, and reasoning.

You turn emotional energy into operational language.

You don’t fight tone with tone. Ignore the tone. Elevate the conversation to logic.

Passive aggression thrives in ambiguity. Clarity exposes it.

Executive presence is clarity under pressure.

Archetype 3: The Emotional Reactor

This person escalates quickly.

Big reactions. Strong opinions. Visible frustration. Energy spikes in meetings.

Sometimes it’s a stressed leader. Sometimes it’s a peer who runs hot.

Most women mirror this energy unconsciously. Heart rate rises. Speech speeds up. Tone shifts.

Now you’re in emotional combat.

These situations expose where executive presence is still developing. Because when you meet intensity with intensity, you lose.

Gravitas does the opposite.

You lower your tone. You sit back. You slow your speech by 10%. You observe. You listen until they finish.

You might say:

“I hear that this feels urgent.”

Pause.

“Here’s what I’m seeing from a risk perspective.”

You acknowledge emotion without absorbing it. You don’t compete for intensity. Because intensity is not authority.

If it becomes unprofessional, you suggest continuing when everyone has calmed down. That’s a boundary.

And here’s the truth: when you argue with a fool, people can’t always tell who is who. You both look unhinged.

But when one person stays calm, the nervous system of the room recalibrates around them.

The calmest person becomes the center of gravity.

That’s gravitas.

Archetype 4: The Micromanager

They don’t explode. They hover.

They recheck your work unnecessarily. Ask for constant updates. Insert themselves into decisions you’re capable of making.

Micromanagers trigger over-performance. You send longer emails. Over-document. Ask for permission instead of informing.

That’s not executive presence. That’s shrinking under surveillance.

Instead of:

“Is this okay?”

Try:

“Here’s the direction I’m taking based on X and Y. Let me know by Thursday if you see any risks.”

You’re not asking for approval. You’re defining direction and inviting input.

If they dive into tiny details, zoom out:

“The larger objective we’re solving for is ____. If that’s aligned, I’ll proceed.”

Micromanagers thrive in tactical detail. Leaders operate at altitude.

When you hold altitude calmly, one of two things happens: they rise to meet you, or they back off.

Gravitas signals competence without theatrics.

And if needed, have the direct conversation. Sometimes transparency resolves control.

Archetype 5: The Political Operator

The higher you climb, the more politics.

They don’t argue loudly. They align quietly. Build alliances before meetings. Position narratives. Control perception.

Mid-career women often underestimate politics because they want work to be merit-based.

But at senior levels? Perception matters.

The mistake is trying to out-politic them.

Gravitas does three things instead:

1. Refuses paranoia. Stay fact-based.
   
2. Increases visibility strategically. Share progress early. Invite input. Build alignment.
   
3. Speaks in strategy — not just tasks.
   
   

“We’re balancing long-term cost against short-term gain.”
“This aligns with our 2026 objective.”

Gravitas elevates narrative and aligns it with business priorities.

The Pattern Across All Five

The credit stealer tests your ownership.
The passive-aggressive underminer tests your clarity.
The emotional reactor tests your regulation.
The micromanager tests your confidence.
The political operator tests your altitude.

None of this is random.

These tests expose where you wobble.

Gravitas stops the wobble — not by overpowering, overworking, or overcompensating — but by holding steady in:

Language.
Posture.
Pace.
Boundaries.
Strategic framing.

Executive presence at senior levels is less about brilliance and more about who remains grounded when ego enters the room.

Final Reframe

Gravitas is not about being impressive.

It’s about being unshakeable.

It’s the ability to encounter ego, testing behaviors, subtle toxicity, power plays, politics, and disagreement — without losing yourself.

Not louder.
Not harder.
Steadier.

You don’t need to win every interaction to win the game. You need to hold yourself in it.

That’s executive presence in the real world.

And if you are a mid-career woman or man who knows you’re capable of more, this is nervous system training. Language refinement. Boundary ownership.

It’s the decision to stop letting other people’s instability dictate who you are.

That’s the skill.

Refined skill.

And it’s built boldly.

If you didn’t catch Part 1, revisit Episode 33 for the foundation of executive presence.

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