Is Adulthood Where Dreams Go to Die?

Welcome back, my Bold Friends! 

Is adulthood where dreams go to die? Do you ever feel like your childlike curiosity, imagination, and sense of play have faded away?

Today we’re talking about something that keeps so many of us from living the bold lives we’re meant for: the ways we are set up - often from childhood - to play small, avoid mistakes, and live safely inside the lines.

The Pressure to Conform

Think back to when you learned to color. Maybe you loved scribbling outside the lines - until someone told you to stay inside them. You were corrected, judged, and even labeled slow or incapable, rather than creative or free-thinking.

These little lessons add up. By middle school, kids start shrinking back, downplaying their interests, and hiding their true selves to avoid teasing, bullying, or being left out. Fitting in feels safer than standing out.

From a self-preservation standpoint, it makes sense. Who wants to constantly swim upstream or be laughed at? But the message becomes clear: mistakes equal failure - and failure is bad – whether it is social failure, academic failure, or failure to maintain the status quo.

Losing Trust in Ourselves

Over time, this conditioning steals our joy, imagination, and belief in what’s possible.

I grew up in a small, rural town where dreaming big wasn’t typical. I didn’t know anyone living wildly differently. My path seemed predetermined: go to the state university, choose a presentable job, and keep things safe.

But at eighteen, life surprised me, or I surprised me. I moved to California, and it cracked my world wide open. I remember sitting in a college history class - this time from a Latin American perspective. For the first time, I realized the “truth” I had been taught wasn’t the whole story.

That moment blew my mind. Here, I was faced with the epiphany that the stories we often learn and tell are merely perspectives, skewed by our own limited experiences. There is always subjectivity, an agenda, shaded by ego and fears. It showed me how small and conforming my worldview had been. And it taught me that when we’re willing to see other perspectives, cultures, and ways of living, we can start to imagine bigger possibilities for our own lives. 

How Childhood Lessons Shape Our Adult Lives

The messages we learn as children don’t just fade away - they follow us into adulthood, shaping how we see ourselves and the world.

Fear of failure. Because mistakes were punished, many adults avoid risk, stick to what they know, and settle for “safe” choices - even when their hearts are pulling them elsewhere. Where in your life have you settled because taking a different path is scary or overwhelming?

Doubting our intuition. Years of being told to sit still, follow directions, and color inside the lines train us to look for authority outside ourselves.      As adults, we second-guess our instincts, wait for permission, and struggle to trust our inner voice. We barely recognize the physical signs, the gut instincts, that were meant to guide us.

Shrinking dreams. If creativity was undervalued in our formative years, it feels irresponsible or childish to pursue it now. So we trade imagination for productivity, passion for practicality, and end up in jobs, relationships,      and routines that feel too small for who we really are. Have you ever considered taking up a hobby or pursuing a dream, but thought that you are already too far behind the learning curve to begin now?

Emotional disconnection. Being taught to “toughen up” leaves many of us numb. Instead of using emotions as a compass, we push them aside - which makes it harder to know what we truly want, or to build authentic connections with others.

The result? Many adults live lives of quiet limitation - successful on paper but secretly unfulfilled, because they’ve internalized the belief that dreaming big is unrealistic, risky, or selfish.

Well, guess what? It’s not too late to learn something new, to change your mind, to step outside your bubble.

How Do We Break the Pattern?

So how do we disrupt this conditioning in our children and ourselves?

Encourage critical thinking. Question the status quo. Welcome diverse perspectives. Challenge “the way it’s always been done.”

Advocate for diverse voices. When we remove stories, books, or ideas labeled as “too much,” we silence imagination and limit possibility. Children - and adults - need to see a wide range of lives and experiences to believe something different is possible.

Embrace emotions. Many of us, especially boys, were told to “toughen up” or “shake it off.” The result? We disconnect from our own emotions, numbing instead of listening. But emotions are guides. They show us what we care about, what we need, and what’s possible.

Take a step in the right direction. That’s right – make a decision to take action. We gain momentum and motivation by taking action, not by thinking about it forever. One little thing. That’s all you have to do.      

If you’ve ever wondered why your imagination feels muted or your courage feels buried, it’s not your fault. You were conditioned for conformity. But you don’t have to stay there.

Living boldly means reclaiming creativity, honoring your emotions, questioning old rules, and daring to write your own story. You were meant for more.

Stay bold, my friends! Until next time.