Stress? Overwhelm? You are a Human Being, Not a Human Doing

Today I’m feeling positively forty-something. Yes, I just had a birthday and realize I’m one year closer to fifty! Where did the time go? I’m spending a relaxing day doing some reflection and getting some stress relief. The reality is that I have lived QUITE a Bold Life and I wouldn’t change much. I’ve taken flying leaps in my career, relationships, and where I’ve chosen to live and build a life. I’ve traveled the world and partied away the nights of my youth, but man has all of this been exhausting! I’ve lived pretty fearlessly, and my long-time friends would tell you that they never know what is around the next corner for me, since I’m always surprising them. Still between those wild leaps and bounds, I know that my body and mind need time to rest and to enjoy the NOW. I know the harsh impacts of psychological stress.

Today’s topic is about slowing down, taking time to enjoy the breaks between bold moves and life launches to preserve mental health and enjoy the fruits of your labor. You cannot be on all the time. We are human beings, not human doings!

If you sometimes feel the exhaustion of doing too much, stick around.

I just bought a new house and was really harried for a couple months – first trying to find the right house in my price point. I think all of the homes in my suburb were built by the same four builders. Cookie-cutter as hell! They all looked so similar, and so I spent a lot of time looking for something a tad different. 

Then I was trying to make the transition from my rental to the new home. There were lots of issues to handle with the new home – plumbing, termites, pool work, and these issues kept my adrenaline running high. I knew I was taking on a lot, but it was a change that needed to happen. Between handling that move alongside regular work and family, I was feeling a lot of stress.

But once things calmed down, I was almost left with a bit of a void feeling. I don’t have a million obligations to do on the weekend? What do I do now? What's free time? Did you ever get so used to living in tense mode, feeding off the drama, the worry, the stress, that when it is time to relax, you seemingly forget how to do so?

Cultural Trap

We get so used to running on adrenaline, living in fight-or-flight mode, because we are expected to do it all – work, home, admin work, and family. 

But it is NOT possible to juggle all the balls all the time without dropping one from time to time. There has to be some time to rest, to decompress in a healthy way, to take care of our physical and mental health, and to enjoy a life meant for ourselves – not just for other people.

With my home purchase, I knew that it would be stressful to make a big move, so I did my best to get in front of it. I left two months of overlap so I would have plenty of time to properly move out of my old home and move into the new home over time. I still have a few things to clear out in fact! I haven’t organized my closet or garage. But knowing that I carved out the time to do this, keeps me from feeling totally overwhelmed about it. Instead of that, I’ve been slowly putting the house together and enjoying my downtime to decompress from work and enjoy my new home. Yes, I have painting to do and other tasks, but I have a list of NEED to haves and NICE to haves, and I don’t NEED to paint right now. 

It IS important to stretch yourself in areas where you feel stagnant. Instead of defaulting to the same reading and relaxing routine at home, I have found that it feels good to conquer a DIY project. One project – at.a. time. Not multiple projects where you scurry from task to task like a crazy person.

It is up to YOU to set a pace that allows you keep a relative amount of peace and stability in your life. If you spend all weekend doing kids' sports and cleaning the house, do you find that you are rested at work on Monday? I do NOT. I need some alone time to recharge my batteries. And the rest of the to-do list will have to wait. My son sometimes has 5-10 sports games on a weekend, and I feel that motherly guilt that I must attend every one of them. But lately, I have decided to give myself a break. It is not normal to play that many games, so it isn’t normal to expect myself to attend that many games! I decided to stay home while his father took him from football to basketball tournaments. And I didn’t feel bad about it.

You deserve to have personal joy and happiness. And the fastest doesn’t always win the race. Actually, it is consistency is the most important indicator of success. So whatever it is you are trying to accomplish, keep going at it consistently. If you take just one step per day toward a goal, in 365 days you will have taken nearly 400 steps toward your goal. It adds up, so keep going, but be good to yourself.

Take some time to put your feet in the sand, a cocktail in your hand, or have a nature walk near the ocean.

Invitation

In what areas of your life are you doing too much or putting too much pressure on yourself to succeed? Be perfect? Do too much to the point that you are sacrificing “living”? What are you doing in your life for self-care, just for you alone?

I recently started listening to an audiobook on Spotify Premium by Tiffani Moon called Joy Prescriptions. I am usually the type of person who skips over book Introductions because they are usually very boring. However, not knowing I was listening to the Intro, I immediately got pulled in by her message. She talked about how her successful life as a high-achieving doctor and parent left her with little time for anything else and a to-do list that was impossible to complete. This really resonated with me, and I can’t wait to learn more about her Joy Prescriptions. If this sounds like something you may be interested in, check it out: Joy Prescriptions by Tiffani Moon.

If you enjoyed today’s message and want to list via podcast, find me on my Home page or look up Female & Dangerous anywhere podcasts live.

If you want help figuring out how to slow down or speed up, peel back the obligations and finding joy, schedule a session with me at TheBoldLife.coach. I’m happy to help!